“Whatever happened to Tom & Jane? We thought they were going to be really committed. They must not have been as committed as we thought.” When people, especially newcomers drop out of church we question why, and we nearly always place the blame on them for dropping out. We never consider what we did (or didn’t do) that helped lead to their departure.
We never consider the inward culture of our church. A closed culture is hard to crack for newcomers. Yet we believe ourselves to have an open culture. After all, “everyone is welcome” – unspoken caveat; “as long as they fit in to our liking”. Consider the friendship factor described in our previous post. And not only the friendship factor; all newcomers need at least one new fostering relationship with church members within the first thirty days of attendance. (five with in six months.)
Along with this they also need an area of service within ninety days (3 months). This does not mean you are going to let them teach or preach, but if God brought them to your church, they have some gifting, some talent to offer. It only takes a smile to be a greeter or usher. Sunday school classes have a plethora of opportunities for people to serve. Be attentive to the Holy Spirit and creative for engaging newcomers into ministry.
For people to remain actively involved they must have a task they consider significant to the kingdom’s work.
What about Bob and Mary who were active members for two decades and have suddenly dropped out? Do we spend more time talking about them or do we genuinely reach out attempting to assist in prayer for, physical, spiritual, personal matters in their life – without using each for gossip.
People do not usually drop out due to one incident but from a series of experiences. Those could be experiences inside or outside of the church. If from within the church, certainly this needs to be addressed. If the point of crisis came from outside the church, it could be personal, family, work, or health issues. Regardless, we as church family should handle each with discretion and respect while lovingly attempting to restore broken relationships with the church family.
Four opportunities every church has at your disposal to assist whether newcomers or long-time members. Use each prayerfully (full of prayer) with discretion.
Observation is perhaps the greatest tool of opportunity. Especially when you are using it before that crisis hits. But afterwards as well.
Research can help you identify causes that may exist in your church and within individual lives. Use validated research as a tool for God to assist your church.
Surveys, conducted in house or community to assist you in learning how God will use your church in reaching, keeping, and ministering to those going through any crisis.
Personal reflection can be revealing when we reflect openly, with a true intent to find needed improvement personally and as a church body.
What is your reaction when people drop out?
George Yates is an Organizational Health Strategist and coach, assisting churches, organizations, and individuals in pursuing God’s purpose for life. Click here to receive this blog in your email inbox each Tuesday.