Walking into a new church, a new environment, unfamiliar territory can be daunting. Most people come in with trepidation. They approach unsure of what is beyond that door, trusting it is safe and welcoming. What do they truly find when they come into your church for the first time? Every person I have ever asked always says, “They find a friendly church.” Yet what guests have shared over the years is often a different story.
Abraham Maslow developed a Hierarchy of Needs, showing five levels of needs of every human in various aspects of life. He shaped it as a pyramid with the broadest need at the base. The base level is physiological or survival. Maslow’s theory is that before a person can move to a higher level each of the previous levels must be fulfilled in that persons “needs”.
The second level is safety. Before a person can feel safe, he must be secure he can survive in this environment. Without the solace of survival he cannot move beyond his safety concerns. Before moving to the third level that person’s survival and safety requirements must be fulfilled and so it goes throughout the five levels, each subsequent level must be satisfied in each person’s life.
The third level is Love and Affection. This is the level most people enter your church. They will not come through a door unless they believe survival and a safe environment resides on the other side. They enter looking for love and acceptance. When they walk in, they are not certain they will be welcomed and accepted. Yet, looking for those attributes, they enter.
While most churches believe they are friendly, welcoming, and accepting of others, some of the best responses guests often share include, “It seemed superficial. They did it because the pastor told them to.” Or “It wasn’t sincere.”
Our words may say welcome, yet we hold newcomers at arm’s length as if they must pass a trial or probationary period before we show them true welcome and acceptance. In most cases we do not intend to, but this is what we convey. When a newcomer shows giftedness and talent that we can use, we welcome them with open arms (while holding our reservations) as long as their giftedness do not threaten our positions in the church.
People cannot move to levels four and five of the Hierarchy of Needs without sensing true love and acceptance (level 3). Level four is esteem and is where people begin to understand his/her value in Christ through the local body. Level five is self-actualization in Christ, where each individual recognizes his/her value in Christ serving in the body, welcoming others with heart-felt acceptance.
What will you do this week to demonstrate true love and acceptance? This is where true assimilation begins.
George Yates is an Organizational Health Strategist and coach, assisting churches, organizations, and individuals in pursuing God’s purpose for life. Click here to receive this blog in your email inbox each Tuesday.